Theatre Plays
Unpacking the Ordinary, One Play at a Time
One last night. One last round. No one leaves unchanged...
Last Orders is a two-act dark comedy set during one final lock-in at a forgotten corner pub clinging to relevance, memory, and something dangerously close to hope.
The Dog & Duck isn’t what it used to be. The beer’s warm, the jukebox hums but never sings, and the regulars have dwindled to a handful of ghosts who still know how to drink in company. On a storm-lashed night, Frankie, the landlord, invites a few familiar faces for one last hurrah before the doors close for good. Among the regulars, Bea, sharp as broken glass; Lenny, recently released and full of bad decisions; and Jayne, the one who left and shouldn’t have come back, there’s also a stranger. Erin. Young. Quiet. Somehow too familiar.
As the drinks flow, old grudges resurface and long-buried truths begin to stir. What begins as a send-off slides into something more intimate, more dangerous: a reckoning. The jukebox flickers, stories untangle, and everyone realises the thing they’re trying to hold onto might already be gone or worse, never existed the way they remember it.
Last Orders is a story about the people we used to be, the lies we tell to keep going, and the strange kind of grace that lives in the ruins. It’s about what happens when the lights go out and no one’s left to pretend anymore.
About the Play
Sometimes the pub isn't the only thing that's falling apart...
Cast of Characters
Comedy-Drama / Ensemble / One-Location
Running Time: Approx 2 hours, Including Interval
Cast: 5 total. 2 male, 3 female.
Frankie
Late 60s. The pub landlord. Stubborn, dry-witted, and quietly sentimental. Haunted by the past, trying to hold everything together while the world moves on.
Erin
Early 30s. New arrival. soft-spoken, thoughtful but clearly carrying secrets. Possibly connected to Frankie through he mother, Lisa.
Lenny
Late 20s. Recently released from prison. Charismatic, chaotic and emotionally scarred. Uses humour as a shield.
Bea
Mid 40s. Sharp tongued, loyal and emotionally guarded. She's stayed in town longer than she meant to and it shows.
Erin
Mid 50s. Frankie's past love. Mysterious, direct and emotionally complex. Returns near the end of Act One, setting deeper truths in motion.
Themes and Tone
Last Orders blends humour with heartbreak, nostalgia with bite. Beneath its comic timing and pub banter, the play explores deeper emotional and societal undercurrents.
Dark Comedy with a Warm Pint of Humanity
There’s swearing. There’s fighting. There’s a jukebox with a vendetta. But there’s also vulnerability, unexpected tenderness, and moments of connection that sneak up between punchlines. Like the best pub stories, the laughs don’t cancel out the pain, they share a round with it.
The tone shifts fluidly from comedic to poignant. Directors and actors are encouraged to lean into this duality, resisting the urge to play for laughs or tragedy alone. Let the humour feel natural, the silences real, and the tension build organically. It’s a comedy that knows life isn’t just one thing at a time.
To stage a performance of Last Orders, securing a performance licence is essential. Take a look at our licensing page and get in contact with us so we can send you a quotation based on your requirements.
Licensing Information
THE
INSPECTION
One staff room. One surprise inspection. Absolute chaos.
About the Play
The Inspection is a two-act satirical comedy set over one chaotic school day in a crumbling staff room, where under scrutiny, tempers fray, secrets unravel, and survival depends on instant coffee and sheer denial.
It’s inspection day at a struggling middle school and everything is falling apart. The headteacher is off sick (hungover), the acting head is barely holding it together, and the staff room is in meltdown. As rumours swirl about a surprise Ofsted visit, tensions rise, tempers flare, and someone’s nicked the good biscuits. But what nobody realises is that the unassuming supply teacher in the corner isn’t a supply at all, he’s the inspector.
And he used to be a pupil here…
Set entirely in the staff room over the course of a single chaotic day, The Inspection is a sharply observed comedy about pressure, performance, and the quiet heroism of teachers. With biting satire and real heart, it peels back the layers of a system buckling under scrutiny, one dodgy cup of tea at a time.
Satirical comedy / theatrical farce / relationship meltdown
Cast: 5 total. 3 male, 2 female, 1 chicken
Running Time: Approx 2 hours, Including Interval
Cast of Characters
Mrs Gill
50s. Acting headteacher. stressed, determined and clinging to a frying sense of authority.
Lena
40s. Teaching Assistant. Warm hearted but lonely. Still dealing with the fallout of her husband leaving her.
Mr Trent
Late 40s. Supposedly a supply teacher. Observant, calm with a quiet intensity. Hiding a secret.
Janine
30s-40s. Teetering on the edge. Sarcastic, sharp and always two steps ahead, except emotionally.
Miss Randle
20s. Young, idealistic and enthusiastic. Struggles to be taken seriously by older staff.
Mr McBride
40s-50s. Long-standing teacher and union rep. Cynical but loyal. Loves a grievance.
Mr Clarkson
50s-60s. Grumbling traditionalist. Resents change and any use of technology. Endlessly complaining.
Miss Shepherd
30s-40s. Level-headed on the surface but quietly at breaking point. Tries to meditate tensions.
Kevin
20s-30s. A friendly, chatty delivery driver who comes in and out. Loves being part of the chaos.
Miss Cowan
Early 20s. Nervous NQT (Newly Qualified Teacher). Overwhelmed, under-prepared and visibly sweating.
Mr Evans
40s-50s. IT technician. Quiet dry-humoured. Knows everyone's secrets but keeps them to himself.
Mrs Hargreaves
60s-70s. Well-meaning but out of touch school governor. Fond of the old days. Says odd things at the wrong time.
Themes and Tone
The Inspection is a fast-paced, character-driven comedy set in a crumbling staff room on the worst possible day. Satirical yet deeply human, it explores the quiet heroism of teachers battling pressure, red tape, and one another, while trying to look perfect for the clipboard brigade. With sharp wit, emotional depth, and a touch of farce, the play shines a light on broken systems, buried pasts, and the surreal reality of surviving in plain sight. At its heart, it’s about connection, resilience, and the small acts of defiance that keep us going.
Licensing Information
To stage a performance of The Inspection, securing a performance licence is essential. Take a look at our licensing page and get in contact with us so we can send you a quotation based on your requirements.
Tonight’s performance features love, lies, and livestock.
About the Play
CHICKeN
CHICKeN is a two-act comedy of missed cues, marital mishaps, and one very live delivery.
Set the night before opening in a small provincial theatre, CHICKeN follows a weary cast as they stumble through a chaotic final dress rehearsal for a play called Love and Other Lies. On stage, the fictional couple are trying to fix their marriage. Off stage, the real-life couple playing them are falling apart.
Between a stuck door, a disappearing actor, a missing prop chicken, and a director on the verge of a breakdown, everything that can go wrong, does, often spectacularly. As professional tensions boil over and personal grievances erupt, lines are missed, prompts are confused, and reality blurs with rehearsal in increasingly disastrous ways.
Witty, sharp, and gloriously messy, CHICKeN is a comedy about what happens when the performance spills into real life and the only thing more unpredictable than the cast is the live poultry in the wings.
Satirical comedy / Workplace farce / Character drama
Cast: 12 total. 4 male, 8 female.
Running Time: Approx 2 hours, Including Interval
Cast of Characters
Elizabeth
30s-40s. Actor playing Sandra in the play-within-the-play. Witty, brittle, and emotionally volatile. Elizabeth is a seasoned performer clinging to both her marriage and her reputation. Behind the cutting remarks is a woman who feels betrayed, exhausted, and increasingly aware that the spotlight no longer flatters. Wields sarcasm like a sabre.
Harry
50s-60s. The director. World-weary, coffee-fuelled, and one missed cue away from a breakdown. Harry has seen it all, and would very much like to stop seeing it now. Sarcastic to the bone, but just about keeps the show on the road. Thinks he's in control. Absolutely isn’t.
Steve
30s-40s. Actor playing John in the play-within-the-play. Affable but foolish, Steve is the kind of man who thinks charm can patch over deep emotional cracks and usually fails. He's juggling a guilty conscience, fading confidence, and a script he can't quite remember. Underneath it all, he still loves Elizabeth, but keeps putting his foot in it... usually both.
Eddy
Any. Stage manager, tech guy, and now emergency understudy.
Eddy didn’t sign up for this. He just wanted to sort the fuses and fix the door. Instead, he’s acting in a play, wrangling egos, and reliving his most embarrassing moment, the human statue incident. Lovable chaos in cargo trousers.
Alice
20s-30s. The new prompt.
Sweet, observant, and underestimated. Alice is the only person who hasn’t completely lost the plot, though she might if things get any weirder. She starts quietly, but her sharpness reveals itself, especially in her flamingo monologue moment. A character with real growth and great comic timing.
Themes and Tone
CHICKeN is a sharp, fast-paced theatrical farce that blurs the lines between performance and reality. Set during a disastrous final rehearsal, the play explores the crumbling relationships, fragile egos, and quiet desperation behind the scenes of a low-budget production. As the fictional couple on stage attempt to save their marriage, the real-life actors playing them are barely holding theirs together.
Themes of betrayal, artistic ambition, creative exhaustion, and emotional honesty simmer beneath the chaos, all while the director tries to keep the show afloat, the stage manager is dragged into the action, and a chicken (yes, an actual chicken) becomes central to the plot. Satirical, character-driven, and gleefully absurd, CHICKeN delivers both laughter and moments of unexpected poignancy as it asks: when the set collapses, the door breaks, and the truth slips out.
Can the show still go on?